No-Budget Nightmares

Episode 133: REMAKE (2012)

Fri, 31 May 2024 05:00:16 +0000

Our long national nightmare comes to a close with the return of No-Budget Nightmares! And this time we’re tackling a fan-request and.. HOO BOY does Doug Phillips’ 2012 film REMAKE stink. Picture a horror film about a devious ex-cop-turned-snuff-filmmaker who kidnaps young women and makes them part of his unholy art projects. Sounds ok, right? Well, what if it was faith-based. And two hours long. And the snuff filmmaker was just a sub-plot with the REAL movie being the redemption arc of an ex-actress/porn star/prostitute who has to spend LITERALLY A QUARTER OF THE MOVIE explaining how the porno business works according to hardcore Christians (spoiler! It involves working with a German Shepherd!). You’ll hear the pain in our voices, you sickos. ENJOY!

If you want to get our episodes a week early (and lots of other special goodies) support us on Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/nobudgetnightmares

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Episode 132: BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL (1984)

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 05:00:22 +0000

It’s the first No-Budget Nightmares episode of 2024! And.. it’s March! OOPS! Anyway, we’re back with a long-requested SOV film from auteur Chester Novell Turner (director of NBN classic TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE). This one features a highly religious (and very repressed) woman turning to the dark side after a sexual encounter from a puppet. We’ve all been there! Featuring: THAT PUPPET, misogyny, ear-piercing audio, muffled sermons and SO MUCH MORE. Enjoy !

If you want to get our episodes a week early (and lots of other special goodies) support us on Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/nobudgetnightmares

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EPISODE 131: CAPTAIN COSMOTIC (1998)

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 06:00:39 +0000

It’s been a long (long!) time coming but the German superhero parody (with a hint of splatstick) CAPTAIN COSMOTIC has finally arrived on No-Budget Nightmares! Since viewers don’t have easy access to the film (and it’s even harder to find subs), we go DEEP on this weird little number, hence a runtime an hour longer than the film we’re discussing. OOPS! But thankfully you’ll get plenty of incomprehensible German (from the film AND the hosts), a devilishly catchy theme song and an announcement of the subject of our next episode.. AND IT’S A BIG ONE. Listen and learn.

If you want to get our episodes a week early (and lots of other special goodies) support us on Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/nobudgetnightmares

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EPISODE 130: BLOOD AND STEEL (1990)

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 02:07:14 +0000

HOT DAMN! No-Budget Nightmares returns.. AGAIN?! It feels like only a month ago when NBN returned from its THREE YEAR hiatus to J all over your Bs with meaty podcasting action, and now THE BOYS are back again, this time goofin’ and grinnin’ with the 1990 Buffalo-shot martial arts masterpiece BLOOD AND STEEL, written by, directed by and starring safe-cracker/bad-ass Mark Swetland! It’s full of kicking and punching and nunchucks and throwing stars and just the most amazing accents you’ll ever hear. In fact, I’m going to stop writing this summary and go watch it again RIGHT NOW!

Note: The film features some moments of sexual threat which, while extremely goofy in context, might cause some listeners distress. When you hear the sound clip of one of the thugs pouring a beer into a purse, feel free to skip ahead ten minutes or so. Sorry!

If you’re in North America (or elsewhere with a VPN) you can watch BLOOD AND STEEL *right now* on Tubi, for free with ads. Just click here.

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EPISODE 129: ZILLAFOOT (2019)

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 14:55:41 +0000

After three long years we’re free! TIME TO CONQUER EARTH! Yes – improbably – it’s the return of No-Budget Nightmares! Since March, 2020 the podcast has been laying in wait, but we’re back to insert ourselves once again into the overcrowded world of low-budget film podcastery! All your favorites are back: Moe! Doug! Yawning! Creaky chair sounds! Audio clips! Too-long run times! And we’ve returned with a BANG, covering Anthony Polonia’s kaiju (or is that kiaju?) comedy ZILLAFOOT from (the year of our lord) 2019. With a sub-Suburban Sasquatch monster suit and an ending that threatens to break Moe’s brain, it has everything you could want out of a NBN subject. Listen and tell your friends, you FIENDS!

You can watch ZILLAFOOT for free on YouTube, or on the Tubi streaming service /w ads right here.

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EPISODE 128: CLOWNADO COMMENTARY

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 14:26:56 +0000

Miss us? NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES has – as you may have noticed – been taking an extended break during the ongoing end of the world, but we miss all of you SO much so we decided to release something special. A couple of years back the legendary Todd Sheets asked Moe and Doug to provide a commentary for the Blu-Ray release of his horror-comedy CLOWNADO. Neither of us ended up seeing a copy in the wild, but it was reported back to us that they DO exist. Either way, we figured enough time has passed at this point that even people who don’t own a CLOWNADO Blu-Ray deserve to hear our lovely voices talk for 90 minutes about clowns and tornados and how they intersect. It may not be a new episode, but it’s the NEXT BEST THING. Enjoy!

CLOWNADO can be watched on Tubi right here, but that won’t do you much good since it has ads. Guess you’ll have to pause the episode during them? Figure it out!

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EPISODE 127: LISTENER SPECIAL

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 15:55:43 +0000

Your no-budget pals Moe and Doug have been at this since 2011, so we figured it’s about time to let our listeners get a word in. On this VERY SPECIAL episode of No-Budget Nightmares we have letters and audio clips from our listeners, who are eager(?) to ask questions, make comments, and to reinforce why it’s probably best to leave this to the professionals (does anyone know any?). It could be a disaster, but there’s only one way to know for sure. Let’s listen!

Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATRE ON!

Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend.

Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter!

And head over to That Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary.

We’ve recently added a No-Budget Nightmares Discord server. If you have the software installed, click here to join. If not, click here to download Discord!

Check out some of the work of Lars Kokemüller!

CORDELIAS KINDER
(75 minutes, horror/comedy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC8Dn3WOSuo
Letterboxd says this is “A look into the lives of a dysfunctional family after the father dies.”. That’s sort of accurate. Mainly, it’s a very wacky comedy that plays around with Lovecraftian concepts and a very weird tone.

WARUM HANS WAGNER DEN STERNENHIMMEL HASST
(75 minutes, horror / romcom)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaWFfUaQEdo
Hans Wagner lives in a small apartment, taking pills and drinking whiskey to fight his anxiety disorders. When he runs out of both his drugs one day, he has no choice but travel to the supermarket sober. An unexpected adventure begins.
Another Lovecraft inspired movie and actually my debut feature.

HOW TO BE A HOMEWRECKER
(60 minutes, musical comedy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHpjB-NeSGM
Comic book artist Brad falls hard for DJ Maria. The only problem is her boyfriend …
A punk/indie musical film.
My only English language film. All actors being German, that sounds kind of weird. But the songs are kind of nice!

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EPISODE 126: PLAGA ZOMBIE: ZONA MUTANTE: REVOLUCION TOXICA (2011)

Tue, 04 Feb 2020 22:58:50 +0000

A horrible plague threatening to destroy the earth? Only in the movies! On episode 126 Moe and Doug return to the greatest Argentinian zombie trilogy ever: PLAGA ZOMBIE! This time we’re looking at the most polished of the bunch with PLAGA ZOMBIE: ZONA MUTANTE: REVOLUCION TOXICA (2011), which sees the return of Max Giggs, Bill Johnson and our beloved John West, who do battles with zombies, aliens and zombie aliens in a desperate attempt to save the world! Along the way we get blood, gore, friendship, pantomime birth, and the musical number to end all musical numbers. JOIN US.

We’ve recently added a No-Budget Nightmares Discord server. If you have the software installed, click here to join. If not, click here to download Discord!

Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATRE ON!

Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend.

Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter!

And head over to That Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary.

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EPISODE 125: RISE OF THE ANIMALS (2011)

Wed, 18 Dec 2019 00:31:56 +0000

On episode 125 of No-Budget Nightmares it’s the apocalypse.. AGAIN! This time the animals have risen up to take out humanity, and we have an intrepid (and very cold looking) trio making their way across Rochester, New York to deliver a cell phone. On the way, there’s rabbit attacks, squirrel attacks, gorilla attacks, turtle attacks and SO MANY MORE ATTACKS. It’s RISE OF THE ANIMALS and it’s a) fun as hell and b) only an hour long. WHAT A CONCEPT! TAKE DRUGS AND LISTEN.

We’ve recently added a No-Budget Nightmares Discord server. If you have the software installed, click here to join. If not, click here to download Discord!

Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATRE ON!

Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend.

Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter!

And head over to That Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary.

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EPISODE 124: THE ZOMBIE ARMY (1991)

Sat, 23 Nov 2019 06:58:36 +0000

I WANT YOU FOR.. THE ZOMBIE ARMY! On a brand new episode of No-Budget Nightmares THE LADS take on the 1991 SOV Delaware-lensed zombie classic THE ZOMBIE ARMY. Featuring: TWO head explosions, neck biting, battery acid-fu and some LETHAL LADIES (/w theme song). It’s the best thing going today, and it’s all for you. CHECK IT OUT, MAGGOTS!

We’ve recently added a No-Budget Nightmares Discord server. If you have the software installed, click here to join. If not, click here to download Discord!

Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATRE ON!

Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend.

Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter!

And head over to That Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary.

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EPISODE 123: PANTHEON BLACK (2010)

Sat, 05 Oct 2019 18:56:07 +0000

In the arms of an angel! It's NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES #123, and we're getting RELIGIOUS with the apocalyptic green-screen sci-fi madness of Fabian Rush's PANTHEON BLACK. It's a bit like ALIEN, a bit like EVENT HORIZON and a bit like that dream you had after eating a burrito where nothing made sense and everyone looked a bit fuzzy. But you have MOE and DOUG as your guides, which means FUN (fun not guaranteed). Time to watch!

EPISODE 122: METAL NOIR (1990)

Tue, 20 Aug 2019 23:42:50 +0000

This week on No-Budget Nightmares we're chatting about a true obscurity. It's the brand new (actually old) shot-on-video horror film METAL NOIR, originally directed by David R. Williams back in 1990, before immediately falling into obscurity. That was, until shot-on-video writer, creator and historian Tony Masiello unearthed it, polished it, and brought it back to the world as a special edition DVD. But was all that effort worth it? It's up to Moe and Doug to pass judgment. I wonder what they'll say? GUESS I'LL HAVE TO LISTEN AND FIND OUT!

EPISODE 121: SUDDEN FURY (1997)

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 17:56:56 +0000

WALKER! We've got another Patreon request episode, and this one is a DOOZY. 1997's SUDDEN FURY is full of explosions, full-body burns, gore, and incomprehensible accents. It also has the late David Warbeck (from Lucio Fulci's THE BEYOND) in one of his final roles. It's a rare No-Budget Nightmares action movie, and Moe and Doug get positively giddy as they walk through the bonkers plot (and some truly wretched acting) to get to the good stuff. Also, they go a little overboard on the accents. Sorry!

EPISODE 120: THE SLASHER (2000)

Wed, 17 Jul 2019 22:54:40 +0000

On a BRAND NEW episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES we're watching Jim Haggerty's 2000 slasher film called, uh, THE SLASHER! It has bad acting, sound and dialogue, but what about the plot? That's bad too! But that's ok, since we're going to go through it scene by scene anyway, because what ELSE CAN WE DO? Nothing! CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE AND LISTEN!

EPISODE 119: THE AMAZING BULK (2012)

Tue, 04 Jun 2019 01:38:05 +0000

BULK SMOOSH! As you may have guessed 2012's THE AMAZING BULK is a mockbuster/parody of Ang Lee's THE INCREDIBLE HULK, except made in five days and shot entirely against a green screen using pre-rendered stock footage and computer generated models. It's exactly as good as that would suggest. There are tornado transformations, Stanley Kubrick references, ED humor and.. look.. it's garbage, ok? But its short garbage. It's No-Budget Nightmares. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

EPISODE 118: TERROR AT TENKILLER (1986)

Fri, 03 May 2019 03:13:24 +0000

HORROR! TERROR! SCARES! On this episode of No-Budget Nightmares we're discussing 1986's TERROR AT TENKILLER, which is so incompetent they forgot to record any audio while making it, so a different crew had to step in and complete the darn thing! Moe and Doug have plenty of fun picking this dull slasher movie apart, and we even bring on the wonderful Freeman Williams (who provides a voice in the film) to tell us about its creation and to recreate a memorable scene with our hosts! We also announce our upcoming live stream, which you're going to want to be a part of. IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD! LET'S CHECK IT OUT!

EPISODE 117: DEAD HUNT (2007)

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 22:38:20 +0000

A no-budget nightmares RETURN! And this time, thanks to a Patreon request, we're delving back into the work of Don Dohler! In fact, DEAD HUNT is Don's final film (co-directed by HARVESTERS' and STAKES' Joe Ripple), and it's an old fashioned slasher flick with a touch of post-SCREAM metacommentary for good measure. It's tons 'o fun, aside from a few issues with, uh, pronunciation. Have a listen and tell your friends right.. NOW!

EPISODE 116: VIOLENT NEW BREED (1997)

Sat, 16 Feb 2019 16:25:11 +0000

YES! No-Budget Nightmares returned with the movie that killed Monday, whupped Tuesday and put Wednesday in the hospital! It's Todd Sheets' VIOLENT NEW BREED. It's a ton o' faith-based fun, with a gang of drug-pushing "Breeders" making life hell for the citizens of "New York City", and features the immortal Rudy Ray Moore in a supporting role! It also has demon plant vaginas, Pac-Man shirts, JERRY ANGELL, Satan, and so much more! LET'S DIG IN!

EPISODE 115: IOWA – THE DIRECTOR’S CUT (2005)

Sat, 19 Jan 2019 18:44:58 +0000

And now for something EXTREMELY different. Thanks to a Patreon request from listener Tyler Sharp, we've been blessed with a one-of-a-kind item: a preliminary cut of Matt Farnsworth's IOWA that was later re-edited for DVD release. Unlike most/all No-Budget Nightmares features, this one had a budget, a crew and name talent in front of the camera, but guess what? It's bad! Meth, corn, mangled genitals and bowler hats abound in this mess of a movie, and we're here for it. Clear off your afternoon and have a listen.

EPISODE 114: BEYOND THE 7TH DOOR (1987)

Tue, 11 Dec 2018 20:02:56 +0000

We're back! It's a HOLIDAY MIRACLE! After a two month hiatus, No-Budget Nightmares returns with the 1987 Canuxploitation oddity BEYOND THE 7TH DOOR, starring the unforgettable (and unintelligible) Lazar Rockwood! Our hero, joined by a cocktail clad - and much more competent - lady-friend chainsmokes his way through SEVEN DEADLY ROOMS in order to unearth some hidden treasure, but will his greed get the better of him? I'm betting YES! It's a grand old time all around, so time to stop shopping for the kids and start LISTENING.

EPISODE 113: OPERATION DANCE SENSATION (2003)

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 22:54:12 +0000

It's another NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES PATREON SPECIAL, and that means something WEIRD! And, in this case, something GERMAN! Thanks to listener LARS for forcing us to watch the 2003 action-satire-gore-comedy OPERATION DANCE SENSATION, which has MASSIVE GUNS, endless NINJAS and an EPIC running time it doesn't quite deserve. But it's plenty violent, and has a snappy theme song, and that's good enough for us. GATHER YOUR FAMILY AND LISTEN!

EPISODE 112: PLAGA ZOMBIE: ZONA MUTANTA (2001)

Sat, 15 Sep 2018 22:56:29 +0000

It's a NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES *FIRST*! A SEQUEL! Moe and Doug return to ARGENTINA to check out the mid-point of the beloved PLAGA ZOMBIE trilogy, and they LOVE IT! In fact, there's some discussion about whether this is the BEST NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES FILM EVER! But that's at the end. Before that, you'll have to enjoy hearing THE BOYS wax philosophic about beheadings, disembowlings and JOHN WEST! It's all that and a bag of chips, so what are you waiting for? START LISTENING, JERKS!

EPISODE 111: PHOBE: THE XENOPHOBIC EXPERIMENTS (1995)

Tue, 14 Aug 2018 23:09:29 +0000

Sgt. Gregory Dapp is a renegade space cop hunting down a deadly creature across the cosmos. The beast, called a PHOBE, makes its way to planet earth with DAPP hot on its trail, but soon comes upon a young high school cheerleader who has unknowingly stolen its egg. Can DAPP protect the young woman AND steal her heart? Can he stop the PHOBE from reproducing and bring it back to his commander? Can he sport the dumbest haircut in cinema history? Can he dance awkwardly with a HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT? Can he constantly wear sunglasses to cover his glowing yellow eyes? ALL WILL BE REVEALED on the latest episode of No-Budget Nightmares, featuring the Canadian classic PHOBE: THE XENOPHOBIC EXPERIMENTS!

EPISODE 110: CARDS OF DEATH (1986)

Fri, 03 Aug 2018 18:59:58 +0000

Does it get any better than a SOV horror that had a limited international release in the 80s finally getting released in North America 28 years later (thanks to Bleeding Skull)? No, it doesn’t! And CARDS OF DEATH isn’t just some boring obscurity, it’s weird as hell, and introduced the world to “Gunny” Gunther, the dumbest, angriest cop ever! And don’t get us started on the closing credits song! No-Budget Nightmares returns to its roots, and we couldn’t be happier. Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATREON! Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend. Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter! And head over to Dork Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary.

EPISODE 109: WHERE THE DEAD GO TO DIE (2014)

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 14:43:36 +0000

Look, I'm going to be straight with you. This is a rough episode of No-Budget Nightmares. We didn't like the movie, which is just an unending parade of empty misery, and talking about it was just a tremendous drag. You'll hear how defeated we were by the end. However, if you've ever wanted to hear us be mentally and physically destroyed by a movie, this is the episode for you. It's the 2014 computer animated film WHERE THE DEAD GO TO DIE from director Jimmy ScreamerClauz. Don't say we didn't warn you.

EPISODE 108: DRACULA (THE DIRTY OLD MAN) (1969)

Thu, 14 Jun 2018 21:55:20 +0000

YOU ASKED FOR IT! YOU GOT IT! It's a Something Weird (and Moe Porne) favorite, 1969's DRACULA (THE DIRTY OLD MAN), featuring all manners of rubber bats, sexual assault, and a soundtrack full of lame jokes recorded to make up for its unusable original audio! You also get Irving Jackalman, sex through pants, and some of the most uncomfortable dirty talk you're likely to ever hear and uncontrollable laughter. Who could ask for anything more? It's No-Budget Nightmares!

EPISODE 107: BLOODY MUSCLE BODY BUILDER IN HELL (1995/2012)

Fri, 25 May 2018 21:36:30 +0000

Take a splash of THE EVIL DEAD, a pinch of 1977's HOUSE (aka HAUSU), and a whole lot of BODY BUILDING and you have something resembling the Japanese microbudget horror comedy BLOODY MUSCLE BODY BUILDER IN HELL. Filmed on 8mm back in 1995, it wasn't completed until 2009 and didn't get an official release until 2012, and despite all those timeline shenanigans, it's still fun as HELL. Gory, funny, and packed with inspiration, it's something far more than a fan film. LISTENING TIME!

EPISODE 106: JESUS CHRIST: SERIAL RAPIST (2004)

Wed, 02 May 2018 20:25:58 +0000

Look, we get it. That title is pretty rough. Also, this is a Bill Zebub film, so you know it's likely going to be awful. We at No-Budget Nightmares understand that some will be rightfully put off by such an extreme title, though the film in no way reflects the language of that title. There's no Jesus. There's no rape. Also, an HOUR of the movie is a SLIDESHOW OF IMAGES. SERIOUSLY. Dear lord. Anyway, we watched it, and now you get to hear us talk about it. It's a simply transaction. May god have mercy on our souls.

EPISODE 105: THE TAINT (2011)

Wed, 18 Apr 2018 22:24:36 +0000

Exploding dongs. SO MANY EXPLODING DONGS. 2011's THE TAINT is a bad taste smörgåsbord, gleefully crossing the line at every opportunity with its unique mixture of quirky humor, bodily fluids, shockingly slick FX and a tremendous synth soundtrack. But IS IT ANY GOOD? Let your good friends Moe and Doug decide! Or not! We're not your parents! Also included is our big ROBOT NINJA announcement, so check that out. TIME TO LISTEN, JERKS!

EPISODE 104: WHO KILLED CAPTAIN ALEX? (2010)

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 01:33:36 +0000

MOVIE! MOVIE! MOVIE! MOVIE! No-Budget Nightmares is BACK with Uganda's first action movie WHO KILLED CAPTAIN ALEX?, featuring Ugandan Bruce Lee (aka Bruce U!), "Kissed By a Rose", helicopter attacks, and NON-STOP action! Made for only $200, and featuring a feature length "Video Joker" commentary from VJ Emmie, it's an absolute marvel. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTABLE!

EPISODE 103: SCHIZOPHRENIAC: THE WHORE MANGLER (1997)

Wed, 31 Jan 2018 19:52:08 +0000

After ANOTHER lengthy sabbatical, NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES RETURNS! For the first episode of 2018, Moe and Doug go deep on a film featuring murder, masturbation, necrophilia and ventriloquism! It's Ron Atkins' nutzo 1997 SOV classic SCHIZOPHRENIAC: THE WHORE MANGLER, featuring one of the most gloriously unhinged performances in microbudget cinema HISTORY. WE GOTTA GET STRONG SO WE CAN KILL THE WORLD!

EPISODE 102: SAMURAI VAMPIRE BIKERS FROM HELL (1992)

Wed, 20 Dec 2017 20:36:33 +0000

HO HO HO! MERRY NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES CHRISTMAS! This year’s holiday special features Scott Shaw’s immortal SAMURAI VAMPIRE BIKERS FROM HELL, the film that brought the revolutionary concept of ZEN FILM-MAKING to the world, and one that somehow manages to be tedious, incomprehensible AND less than an hour long! Enjoy the opportunity to hear both Moe and Doug slowly lose their minds as they try to make sense of the plot, characters and stolen sound effects from DUMB AND DUMBER. IT’S A MIRACLE! Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATREON! Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend. Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter! And head over to Dork Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary. https://twitter.com/nobudgetpodcast/status/942164207813955585 pic.twitter.com/AJciBlQJEY — No-Budget Nightmares (@nobudgetpodcast) December 17, 2017

EPISODE 101: SOUL OF THE DEMON (1991)

Thu, 30 Nov 2017 17:04:26 +0000

It’s NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES: THE NEXT GENERATION! After crossing the 100th episode threshold, we’re back with 1991’s EXCEEDINGLY GORY SOV possession movie SOUL OF THE DEMON! Despite an interminable 45 minutes of set-up, there’s head slicing, crotch slicing, stomach slicing.. ALL THE SLICING A PERSON CAN HANDLE! Time to BOLDLY GO WHERE NO-ONE HAS GONE BEFORE and LISTEN! Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATREON! Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend. Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter! And head over to Dork Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary. SOUL OF THE DEMON (1991) pic.twitter.com/feTiBN9lgv — No-Budget Nightmares (@nobudgetpodcast) November 26, 2017

EPISODE 100: 100TH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!

Thu, 12 Oct 2017 22:04:40 +0000

SIX YEARS. ONE HUNDRED MOVIES. It's been a long, strange, often baffling trip, but No-Budget Nightmares reaches episode ONE HUNDRED in STYLE with FOUR special interviews, a MYSTERY MOVIE for the ages, and a count-down of our very favorite NBN episodes. Did I mention it's almost FIVE HOURS LONG?! Yeah, it's EPIC. So, clean your schedule, send the kids to the movies and light some candles.. It's time to show Moe and Doug how much you love 'em! MWAH!

EPISODE 99: WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE (1988)

Wed, 27 Sep 2017 00:56:49 +0000

THE MARCH TO #100 CONTINUES! On this penultimate episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES we toss our ENTIRE HISTORY in the WOODCHIPPER for a good ol' fashioned WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE! Jon McBride's 1988 black comedy classic features an incredible Casio keyboard soundtrack, wholesome slaughter and TOM, the oldest 12-year-old that has ever existed! THE END OF THE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT IS RAPIDLY APPROACHING! Spend the apocalypse with MOE and DOUG!

EPISODE 98: TARTARUS (2005)

Tue, 22 Aug 2017 02:39:35 +0000

The MARCH TO 100 continues with a return visit to the works of auteur DAVE WASCAVAGE, the director of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES classics SUBURBAN SASQUATCH, FUNGICIDE and MALEVOLENT ASCENT! This time Moe and Doug delve into the long-awaited TARTARUS and get terrorized by the film’s vision of a CG hell full of TURD TABLES, terrifying OTTOMANS, and more UFOs than you can shake a stick at. It’s a MESS and WE LOVE IT! GIVE THE KIDS A COUPLE OF BUCKS AND TELL THEM TO STAY OUT LATE! It’s NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES and IT’S ALL GOOD! Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATREON! Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend. Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter! And head over to Dork Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary. DEAR GOD. pic.twitter.com/mWx9aKIcms — No-Budget Nightmares (@nobudgetpodcast) August 15, 2017 pic.twitter.com/Cjbf1LyrwV — No-Budget Nightmares (@nobudgetpodcast) August 15, 2017 Coming soon to @nobudgetpodcast 2005's TARTARUS pic.twitter.com/V9xy7iJDIS — Boner Vivant (@Doug_Tilley) August 15, 2017

EPISODE 97: TERROR AT BAXTER U (2003)

Tue, 01 Aug 2017 03:39:15 +0000

EVERYONE IN YOUR SEATS! On this episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES, Moe and Doug are like school in summertime... NO CLASS! Also, a vicious CHUPACABRA is on the loose thanks to some potent Mexican sorcery. Students at BAXTER U are being dispatched in a variety of messy (off-screen ways), and it's up to a trigger happy lieutenant and a senior class of idiots - with the help of their not-at-all-suspicious teacher - to get to the bottom of the mystery. The whole thing is written (and stars!) Bill Vincent, who is best known for teaching Sam Raimi at the University of Michigan! I WANT TO LISTEN RIGHT NOW!

EPISODE 96: BIG MEAT EATER (1982)

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 04:03:26 +0000

NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES returns with another Canuxploitation classic featuring ALIENS, ZOMBIES, NEW WAVE MUSIC, and LOTS MORE! It's 1982's BIG MEAT EATER and it's as crazy as a sci-fi/horror/comedy/musical gets, and - get this - it's actually pretty GOOD! A brief respite from the pain as we HURTLE DANGEROUSLY towards episode 100. Lots of LAUGHS, a few TEARS, and maybe, just maybe, you'll learn a little something. MEAT YOUR FATE!

EPISODE 95: THE DEVIL ANT (1999)

Fri, 23 Jun 2017 18:17:55 +0000

It's the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES debut of DAVID "ROCK" NELSON! Moe and Doug hop in the wayback machine to check out his epic (2 1/2 hour!) monster classic THE DEVIL ANT featuring Tom Savini, Forrest J. Ackerman, Roger Corman, Svengoolie, Conrad Brooks, John Russo and HILLARY CLINTON! By the end, you'll be going MAD! We're 95 episodes deep and there's NO GOING BACK NOW! Grab a cup of JAVA (with sugar) and some CHINESE FOOD, it's time to face the terrible, terrifying wrath of THE DEVIL ANT!

EPISODE 94: MEAT MARKET (2000)

Wed, 07 Jun 2017 02:22:18 +0000

It's the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.. IN CANADA! Welcome to the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES podcast, and we're looking at the first film in Brian Clement's MEAT MARKET trilogy featuring ZOMBIES, BUTTER TARTS, LUCHADORES, VAMPIRES and people dressed like IDIOTS. There's plenty of gore and pitiful acting, but also a big surprise: PORNOGRAPHY! Come for the gore, and stay for Moe and Doug getting endlessly confused about the cast, the plot, and pretty much everything else! LISTEN OR DIE.

EPISODE 93: SPINE (1986)

Wed, 17 May 2017 02:47:41 +0000

He is looking for Linda.. AND THAT COULD BE ANYBODY!! It's 1986's SPINE, a SOV horror classic featuring a Hank Williams Jr./Ole Anderson/Barry Gibb lookalike murdering nurses while the cops struggle with their ancient computers! IT BLOWS, but that doesn't stop Moe and Doug from talking about it for NINETY MINUTES because LIFE IS HELL and WHAT ELSE ARE YA GONNA DO?! ALL MY ROWDY FRIENDS ARE COMING OVER TONIGHT, so tell the rest of the world to GO TO HELL and listen!

EPISODE 92: HEAVY METAL MASSACRE (1989)

Tue, 02 May 2017 02:14:46 +0000

YOU CAN'T KILL NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES! Yes, after a TWO MONTH break fans feared it was the END OF THE LINE, but Moe and Doug are back and better(?!) than ever! Not only that, but they've got a ROCKIN' movie to explore with 1989's HEAVY METAL MASSACRE, which features all of the belly-shirts, skull necklaces, VIDEO EFFECTS, chainsaws, wooden pallets and HAMMER MURDER that your greedy little eyeballs (or earholes) can handle! It's all here and it's all METAL. LISTEN!

EPISODE 91: MONSTURD (2003)

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 07:34:25 +0000

Time to drop the kids off at the pool, because on this episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES we're plumbing the depths to bring you 2003's MONSTURD! Moe and Doug are up to their elbows in the brown stuff, and only their quick wit, Pepto Bismol, adult diapers and EARTH'S YELLOW SUN can save them, so grab your foul-mouthed dummy, strap on some toilet rolls and let's get down to BUSINESS! POOP!

EPISODE 90: SERIAL KILLER (2002)

Tue, 31 Jan 2017 05:20:25 +0000

Look, I'm going to be straight with you.. Ryan Cavalline's SERIAL KILLER kind of sucks. It's dumb, and cheap, and not entertaining. HOWEVER, there are no half measures on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES so we're going ALL OUT to bring this tale of twisted killers, tied up ladies and a FOOT in a BOX to life! We're going to SQUEEZE some entertainment out of this sucker, so tuck your pants into your socks, because it's going to get WET. Your dead!

EPISODE 89: BASKET CASE (1982)

Sat, 14 Jan 2017 00:05:23 +0000

Time for another No-Budget Nightmares TREAT, and they don't get much bigger than Frank Henenlotter's microbudget bad taste sleaze horror classic BASKET CASE! Start off the new year right with startling sound clips, political commentary, and plenty of hanging dong. Moe and Doug are in depressed loner paradise with this adorable tale of brothers getting violent revenge, and we've invited you to listen in. WHAT'S IN THE BASKET?! Download and find out!

EPISODE 88: JAN-GEL, THE BEAST FROM THE EAST (1999)

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 03:29:18 +0000

It's the HOLIDAYS! Almost! And that means it's time for the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CRAPTACULAR, and what better way to say goodbye to this awful, awful year than with your good buddies DOUG and MOE?! This year our pernicious pair is spending time with Conrad Brook's awful JAN-GEL, THE BEAST FROM THE EAST, and so can you. DELETE ALL OTHER PODCASTS. THIS IS YOUR NEW GOD. Merry everything!

EPISODE 87: DOUBLE DOWN (2005)

Sat, 26 Nov 2016 18:44:53 +0000

It's the RETURN of the BREEN! Because YOU demanded it, we're diving deep into DOUBLE DOWN, and nothing's gonna stop us now! No-Budget Nightmares + Neil Breen = LOVE and DESIRE. We needed this, and you needed this, so let's hide away from the world for a bit and enjoy the solemn story of a hacker, bio-terrorist and king of ALL men as he struggles with issues of life, death, and the destruction of Las Vegas while also dealing with a magic cancer-curing rock. STOP READING AND START DOWNLOADING!

EPISODE 86: THE BODY BENEATH (1970)

Tue, 01 Nov 2016 04:15:05 +0000

It's a No-Budget Nightmares FIRST! Thanks to a kind contribution from Something Weird Video, we're bringing you an AUDIO COMMENTARY for the Andy Milligan vampire classic THE BODY BENEATH! Even better, though you can certainly sync our commentary to your OWN copy of the film, we've also gotten permission to provide the video RIGHT HERE for you to enjoy! It's HALLOWEEN! It's NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES! It's TIME!

EPISODE 85: TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE (1987)

Tue, 18 Oct 2016 03:50:02 +0000

It's October, which means another SPOOOooooooOOOOOky episode of No-Budget Nightmares, featuring Chester Novell Turner's 1987 microbudget anthology film TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE! It's filled with titty cups, corpse theft, SANDWICHES, and faces being mysteriously blown upon by ghost boys. It's fun and fancy free and you're gonna LOVE IT. Start downloading, jive turkey!

EPISODE 84: 555 (1988)

Sat, 24 Sep 2016 22:20:32 +0000

POLICE AND THIEVES! IN THE STREETS! It's episode 84 of No-Budget Nightmares and we're doing another PATREON SPECIAL (thanks Adam Lounsbery!) featuring Wally Koz's legendary 555. Y'see, there's a hippy killer on the loose and he's butchering couples just for the kicks, and you won't be able to guess who it is until the very.. last.. frame. Fire up the lights, Moe and Doug are here for you. Now listen.

EPISODE 83: MY LOVELY BURNT BROTHER AND HIS SQUASHED BRAIN (1988)

Mon, 05 Sep 2016 20:07:49 +0000

Saluto! It's episode 83 of No-Budget Nightmares and this time we're heading to Italy, renowned for its black gloved killers, expensive wines and MY LOVELY BURNT BROTHER AND HIS SQUASHED BRAIN! It's a microbudget John Waters-tinged slasher with lashings of incomprehensible characters, dialogue, and a guy cutting off his junk with garden shears. Sixty minutes of shaky video and punk music? For Moe and Doug, that's child's play. Come have a listen.

EPISODE 82: NECROVILLE (2007)

Mon, 22 Aug 2016 01:01:46 +0000

It's No-Budget Nightmares episode 82, and this time Moe and Doug are wasted away again in 2007's NECROVILLE, a buddy-comedy with vampires, werewolves, CHUPACABRAS, and zombies! Co-directed, co-written and starring microbudget stalwart Billy Garberina, it's GHOSTBUSTERS meets SHAUN OF THE DEAD except with more giant chainsaws, hipster vampire masters and falling pianos. Call the sitter and send the dog to the pet hotel.. It's time to listen!

EPISODE 81: KILLING SPREE (1987)

Tue, 09 Aug 2016 21:32:20 +0000

Listen up you BIG ASS, it's time for No-Budget Nightmares to take another deep dive on the filmography of the immortal Tim Ritter with 1987's KILLING SPREE! It's rude, crude and full of 'tude, and features a TRULY AMAZING lead performance from Asbestos Felt, who ably rants, raves and roars every demented line, as well as a requisite appearance from Joel D. Wynkoop! TOOT A WHILE ON THIS, BUD!

EPISODE 80: PLAGA ZOMBIE (1997)

Mon, 25 Jul 2016 14:44:13 +0000

Psst.. Ya like zombies? Yeah? How about ARGENTINE zombies? Well, you're in luck, buck-o, because on this week's No-Budget Nightmares we're taking a look at 1997's PLAGA ZOMBIE, which has all the skin ripping, face peeling, blood drinking and ear slicing one could want out of a microbudget zombie movie from 1997! Not only that, but Moe and Doug get POLITICAL, with crucial pointed commentary spread throughout. STOP READING and START LISTENING.

EPISODE 79: WNUF HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (2013)

Fri, 08 Jul 2016 19:20:41 +0000

Get ready, boils and ghouls! After suffering for their sins for the past few episodes, Moe and Doug get a brief respite from their usual deep hurting with Chris LaMartina's WNUF HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, a beautifully constructed tribute to 80s TV with a unique (and spoooOOOooky) found footage edge. Packed with lovingly constructed period detail and fine performances, this one is a (trick or) treat. Put the kids to bed and LISTEN.

EPISODE 78: WRATH OF THE SKUNK APE (1997)

Fri, 24 Jun 2016 04:22:39 +0000

SKUNKY! Mike C. Hartman's first film WRATH OF THE SKUNK APE is full of surprises: The acting is terrible, the plot is confusing, and most of it takes place in the dark, so good luck in figuring out what the heck is going on. Thankfully, it's short, and on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES that counts for something. NEVER TRUST A MONKEY!

EPISODE 77: NIGHTMARE MUSEUM (2006)

Fri, 10 Jun 2016 22:44:35 +0000

On an unprecedented episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES, Doug and Moe are facing perhaps their greatest challenge: a movie that isn't a movie. Sixty straight minutes of Barbie dolls slamming against each other for the amusement of none. Its 2006's NIGHTMARE MUSEUM and it's pure pain, administered directly to the eyeballs. You'll be shaken, you'll be stirred, and you'll never be the same again.

EPISODE 76: DIE HARD DRACULA (1998)

Sat, 28 May 2016 02:51:27 +0000

YIPPEE KI-YAY BRAM STOKER! It's episode 76 of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES and this time our fiendish hosts are tackling DIE HARD DRACULA, a horror-comedy with a twist: it's neither horrific NOR funny! It does, however, star Bruce (dad-to-Crispin) Glover as the world's worst Van Helsing, as well as lovely Czech Republic locations and a rotating cast of - count em! - THREE Draculas. It's absolutely wretched, but what else is new? ENOUGH TALK, put your lips together and LISTEN!

EPISODE 75: SPLATTER: ARCHITECTS OF FEAR (1986)

Fri, 13 May 2016 21:10:14 +0000

Time to UNSUBSCRIBE from all other podcasts because NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES is BACK and it's WEIRD AS HELL. After a trademark hiatus, Moe and Doug delve deep into the behind-the-scenes Canuxploitation classic SPLATTER: ARCHITECTS OF FEAR which shows that behind their veneer of politeness, all Canadians THIRST FOR BLOOD. There's throat slitting, death-by-sex, head explosions, and a full body stab, as well as the lovable Fang walking us through all this movie making hullabaloo. TIME TO LISTEN!

EPISODE 74: WEASELS RIP MY FLESH (1979)

Sat, 12 Mar 2016 20:57:36 +0000

You lucky kids today can toss together a movie on your phone, but back in 1979 it took GUTS and BALLS and SOME SKILL. That's what 16-year-old Nathan Schiff did with just a dream, a Super-8 camera, and some rudimentary modeling skill, and the result was the wonderfully titled WEASELS RIP MY FLESH! Filled with violence and suspiciously turd-looking weasels, WRMF doesn't make much sense, but BOY is it entertaining. Best of all, you get to hear Doug and Moe talk about it for NINETY MINUTES. Strap yourself in, bozos!

EPISODE 73: JENNIFER HELP US (2014)

Fri, 12 Feb 2016 16:47:02 +0000

KILL YOUR DARLINGS and EAT YOUR MAKEUP, it's time for Episoder 73 of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES featuring the Patreon-requested shot-on-iPhone exploitation throwback JENNIFER HELP US from 2014! Moe is sleep deprived and Doug is high on caffeine so this time you're getting a messy, pun-filled affair with all of the half-considered diatribes you know and love. Grab your skull mask and rev up your chainsaw, folks, because it's time to dip in right... now!

EPISODE 72: SLIME CITY (1988)

Mon, 18 Jan 2016 15:00:23 +0000

NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES returns with the oft-requested, goop-covered, 80s low-budget classic SLIME CITY from director Greg Lamberson. Filled with grimy 80s NYC atmosphere and packed with ooze, sludge and gore, Moe and Doug are kicking off 2016 with a BANG as they dive into a pool of gloopy goodness and come out REBORN.

EPISODE 71: BAD TASTE (1987)

Sun, 20 Dec 2015 00:16:33 +0000

THE BASTARDS HAVE LANDED! It's the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES holiday spectacular, and this year Moe and Doug are giving themselves a treat: Peter Jackson's microbudget sci-fi splatter classic BAD TASTE! Stoke the homefire and hang the stockings, because we're kicking in the new year with BRAIN SQUISHING, SHEEP 'SPLODING, and CHAINSAW DISMEMBERMENT.. Just like mom used to make! It's the best thing going today, and available for your ear holes right now. Hope you'll continue to join us in 2016 you lovely people. KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES!

EPISODE 70: HOBO WITH A TRASH CAN (2015)

Tue, 24 Nov 2015 19:20:17 +0000

IT'S HERE! Our rantiest episode EVER! It's our look at the all-star microbudget anthology spectacular HOBO WITH A TRASH CAN, which is chock-full of aliens, radioactive condoms, murderous apples and SO MUCH MORE. It also contains the worst anthology segment we've ever seen, and a second half that made Moe and Doug want to hurl themselves into a WOODCHIPPER. But, they persevered and you now get to enjoy the DELICIOUS results! Also includes an awesome SONG from ROO! LISTEN OR DIE.

EPISODE 69: HAUNTED-WEEN (1991)

Fri, 30 Oct 2015 20:08:44 +0000

It's our favorite time of the year! The time when ghosts, witches and goblins rule supreme! It's.. uh.. HAUNTEDWEEN! So get your frat brothers together and slap a coat of paint on the ol' Burber place, because it's time to get SLOPPY. Doug Robertson's microbudget slasher film makes for a fine respite for our dutiful hosts, but will they find themselves chilled to the bone? Or will the meager pleasures leave them cold? YOU MUST LISTEN TO DISCOVER THE TERRIFYING SECRETS!

EPISODE 68: KILLER KLOWNS FROM KANSAS ON KRACK (2003)

Mon, 05 Oct 2015 23:05:02 +0000

PT Barnum said it so long ago/There's one born every minute don't you know Just kidding. KILLER KLOWNS FROM KANSAS ON KRACK has absolutely nothing to do with KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE, though it does have 100% more racist puppets, guinea pig eating and glorious, GLORIOUS ennui. KKFKOK comes from the mind of Charles E. Cullen, who is as good at dancing as he is bad at directing, and it's as twisted as it is painfully boring! Still, Moe and Doug tunnel into the bowels and manage to squeeze out some delicious goodness into their wanting mouths. Gross!

EPISODE 67: FEEDERS (1996)

Fri, 11 Sep 2015 19:24:02 +0000

KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES! No-Budget Nightmares returns to tackle the mid-90s SOV alien invasion classic FEEDERS directed by Mark & John Polonia and Jon McBride! It has it all: primitive CGI, gore, knee-high aliens, beautiful BABES, and lots and lots of beautiful padding. Could this be a terrifying vision of things to come? Only one way to find out! LISTEN!

EPISODE 66: THINGS (1989)

Sat, 08 Aug 2015 21:08:44 +0000

"D'you want to see some bloood?". We've got ourselves in a TAILSPIN thanks to Pateron campaign contributor Jessica Garcia, who kindly suggested that Moe and Doug FINALLY tackle Canuxploitation classic THINGS! Being faced with such a ghastly, brutal, horrible, insane film drives our hosts to new heights(?!) of frivolity and madness, and the whole sick business culminates in a brand new epic tune from Roo! Grow out your dirtstaches and crank some Triumph.. it's time to experience THINGS.

EPISODE 65: RETURN OF THE GHOSTBUSTERS (2007)

Mon, 20 Jul 2015 15:32:24 +0000

WHO YA GONNA CALL! The.. uh.. Denver Ghostbusters! No-Budget Nightmares takes its first trip into FAN FILM territory, and this one's a doozy. RETURN OF THE GHOSTBUSTERS brings together a whole new group of ghostbusters, and while they are missing the charm, wit and acting ability of the original GHOSTBUSTERS, they make up for it with plenty of awkward pop culture references and an appearance from THE ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD. There's special(?) effects galore, and once it actually gets going it's not half-bad. Thanks go out to listener and Patreon subscriber James Owens for forcing this upon us. BUSTIN' MAKES US FEEL GOOD!

EPISODE 64: NIGHTBEAST (1982)

Mon, 22 Jun 2015 19:53:20 +0000

It's a few weeks later and WOMEN'S STUDIES still plague our host's nightmares. Thankfully, there's a Baltimore-lensed solution to their problems: Don Dohler's sci-fi/action microbudget classic NIGHTBEAST! For ONE NIGHT ONLY the show becomes NO-BUDGET LEGENDS as Moe and Doug celebrate the amazing accomplishments and outstanding career of the late filmmaker, while delving deep into the bottomless pleasures of Nightbeast's decapitatin', laser-shootin', organ yanking exploits. They end the episode revitalized, reborn and ready for ACTION. Listen! LISTEN! LISTEN!!

EPISODE 63: WOMEN’S STUDIES (2010)

Sun, 07 Jun 2015 17:31:04 +0000

Uh oh! Something has Moe and Doug PEEVED. Yes, it's the rantiest episode of No-Budget Nightmares EVER as the pair tangle with a viewer-picked movie that proves to be a blizzard of ignorance and threatens to break their resolve to tiny bits. At first WOMEN'S STUDIES seems like it'll merely be innocently dumb and misguided, but soon a free-flowing river of misogyny spews all over the faces and groins of your beloved hosts. There's only one solution.. EVISCERATION! It's NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES vs the MRAs in the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!

EPISODE 62: SLAUGHTER TALES (2012)

Thu, 21 May 2015 23:53:44 +0000

Johnny Dickie wrote, directed and starred in SLAUGHTER TALES when he was 14. In case you missed that, let me write it again: Johnny Dickie wrote, directed and starred in SLAUGHTER TALES when he was *14*. The hosts of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES are both TWENTY years older than that, which makes them very, very sad to think about. They've decided to express their anger, frustration and jealousy by ripping into the ONE-MAN-BAND anthology, while occasionally pausing to tell Johnny to GET OFF THEIR LAWNS. It's a supremely silly new episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES!

EPISODE 61: VAMPIRE COP (1990)

Thu, 30 Apr 2015 20:38:27 +0000

Fresh off the success of 1987's CANNIBAL HOOKERS and 1989's SCREAM DREAM, Donald Farmer decided to meld together HORROR and ACTION and came up with a cop that TAKES A BITE OUT OF CRIME! And this Vampire Cop *SUCKS*! Moe and Doug say FANGS for the memories as they BAT their eyelids at the numerous unclothed boys and GHOULS. OTHER PUNS! So much is at STAKE! DUELING RAY ROMANO IMPRESSIONS! This episode has it ALL. Enjoy VAMPIRE COP!

EPISODE 60: THE DEAD NEXT DOOR (1989)

Wed, 15 Apr 2015 22:52:26 +0000

DON'T KILL THE ZOMBIES! LEAVE THE ZOMBIES ALONE! Assemble your ZOMBIE SQUAD, ladies and gents, because it's time to dip back into the J.R. Bookwalter tub and experience the delightful dose of Super-8 zombie goodness that is 1989's THE DEAD NEXT DOOR. STRAIGHT OUTTA AKRON, it's one of the most well known - and well loved - microbudget films EVER, and Moe and Doug hungrily lap it up and ask for SECONDS. It's GOOD and GOOD FOR YOU. YUMMO

EPISODE 59: HOUSE OF FORBIDDEN SECRETS (2013)

Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:26:31 +0000

Are you ready? CAN you be ready? TODD SHEETS is here, and Moe and Doug are about to enter his HOUSE OF FORBIDDEN SECRETS before ALL OF YOU SUCKERS! That's right! It might not be available to the general public yet, but OUR HOSTS ARE SPECIAL and they get to see things *nobody* else can see. It's got GEORGE HARDY. It'se got LLOYD KAUFMAN. It's got FABIO (F**CKING) FRIZZI. It's got DYANNE THORNE. We've got TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! It's a SHEETSTRAVAGANZA and it's all for you. Stick around to the end for Roo's amazing HOUSE OF FORBIDDEN SECRETS song. LICK IT UP!

EPISODE 58: FUNGICIDE (2005)

Sun, 01 Mar 2015 18:30:04 +0000

It's a Wascavage FAMILY AFFAIR! That's right! From the creator of SUBURBAN SASQUATCH and MALEVOLENT ASCENT comes FUNGICIDE, a "special"-effects packed horror comedy that's fun(?!) for the whole family! If you thought the effects in SS were something, you ain't seen NOTHING yet. We have puppets. We have paper mache heads. We have PEOPLE IN MUSHROOM COSTUMES. We have computer wizardry! It's enough to make Doug and Moe cry out in pain/delight. And it's all here on Episode 58 of the No-Budget Nightmares podcast.

EPISODE 57: HI-8 (2014)

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:04:12 +0000

IT'S THE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF SOV! The *BEST OF THE BEST* have assembled to form a VOLTRON of microbudget AWESOMENESS! HI-8 is an anthology film that brings together a WHO'S WHO of no-budget directors: Ron Bonk, Donald Farmer, Marcus Koch, Tony Masiello, Tim Ritter, Chris Seaver, Todd Sheets and Brad Sykes! Eight stories (plus a wraparound), and Moe and Doug are in SOV-HEAVEN! CAN YOU HANDLE IT? Can our HOSTS handle it?! ORGAN MEAT! VHS! TODD SHEEEEEEEETS!

EPISODE 56: MANBORG (2011)

Fri, 23 Jan 2015 22:57:41 +0000

Welcome to the FUTURE! Or, at least, to the first No-Budget Nightmares episode of 2015! And it's not just ANY episode, it's a super special treat for both the audience *and* Moe and Doug as our hosts get PUMPED UP by Astron-6's immortal MANBORG. Sensational, inspirational AND celebrational, MANBORG is the most rootin' tootin rollickin' good time our hosts have had since their last Todd Sheets marathon, and with full hearts and open minds they are setting their sights on the next 365 days.. and beyond!

EPISODE 55: I DREAM OF DRACULA (2003)

Mon, 15 Dec 2014 01:22:32 +0000

BORN IN THE USA! Yes, after a lengthy international excursion to Germany and Japan, No-Budget Nightmares is back on home (?) soil for our two eternally jetlagged hosts to enjoy Jim Haggerty's 2003 vampire-comedy I DREAM OF DRACULA. Here's a fun drinking game: Every time Doug says "shit", you should throw back a shot. You'll be immediately wasted, which might be the only way to enjoy this ode to bad acting, worse story and some of the most unpleasant nudity either of our hosts have experienced. Fangs for the memories, I DREAM OF DRACULA!

EPISODE 54: GUINEA PIG – DEVIL’S EXPERIMENT (1985)

Wed, 19 Nov 2014 15:03:00 +0000

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. This episode is PLENTY late, due to some persistent sound issues meaning it had to be recorded TWICE. Yes, TWICE! That means that Doug and Moe had to extract themselves from the slime (and maggots, and organ meat) of 1985's GUINEA PIG and then hop right back into it again. And it's all for you! Was the second time a charm? SORT OF! You get discussion of Moe's work soundtrack, the upcoming American Guinea Pig film, some incomprehensible sound clips, Doug with a cold, Moe running on no sleep, and there may have been some snuggling. I can't remember. Apologies for any sound quality issues that still remain, and stay tuned for another amazing song from Roo.

EPISODE 53: VIOLENT SHIT (1989)

Tue, 21 Oct 2014 14:54:06 +0000

It's time for some CROTCH VIOLENCE! That's right, Violent Shitters, on episode 53 of NBN Moe and Doug slip into the dark, German-y sewage of Andreas Schnaas 1989 ode to filth and depravity VIOLENT SHIT. The pair tag along with Karl the Butcher as he slices off hands, heads and penises while listening to W.A.S.P. and UB40! You also get to hear the winner of our LIGHT OF BLOOD DVD contest! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?! Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!

EPISODE 52: CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS (2004)

Mon, 29 Sep 2014 00:49:41 +0000

CAN IT BE TRUE? Moe and Doug have returned to pleasure you aurally! But this time we have a special guest: CONFLICT! This is a rare episode where our two debonair hosts disagree on the quality of the movie being discussed, and therefore TEAR INTO EACH OTHER with delightful vigor. Did the constant technical failures and pop culture ramblings of Eamon Hardiman's CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS break Doug's brain? LISTEN AND FIND OUT!

EPISODE 51: ODD NOGGINS (2000)

Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:03:27 +0000

Yum! Pudding! Joe Sherlock's ODD NOGGINS came at the end of the 90s SOV boom, and it's PLENTY weird - packed with high-riding underwear, curvy ladies, bathtubs and a UFO plot that gleefully makes no sense at all. How about an extended visit to the Circle K? Why not! Have some footage from a comic convention? Throw it in! This is high concept/low quality material, but it's also like nothing else previously covered on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES. How will Doug and Moe's delicate brains hold up? LISTEN and FIND OUT.

EPISODE 50: COMBAT SHOCK (1984)

Wed, 13 Aug 2014 01:27:30 +0000

HAPPY 50th, NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES! And what better way to ring in this anniversary than wallowing in THE MOST DEPRESSING MOVIE EVER?! Seriously. Buddy Giovinazzo's COMBAT SHOCK is just a carnival of misery which threatens to bum out even our ever-jovial hosts. BUT IT DOESN'T! Instead, Moe and Doug dive into the shit and come out (mostly) unscathed. Watch out mutant babies! STEP ASIDE HAPLESS JUNKIES! IT'S EPISODE 50, and the war is just beginning.

EPISODE 49: ZOMBIE BLOODBATH (1993)

Sat, 26 Jul 2014 17:05:34 +0000

They faced down NIGHTMARE ASYLUM. They battled GOBLIN. They even boogied down with SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH. But now it's time Moe and Doug to get serious with their Todd Sheets fandom, and what better way than exploring the film where Sheets got SERIOUS? 1993's ZOMBIE BLOODBATH sees Todd working with a bigger budget, a larger cast, better FX and the GLORIOUS MULLET OF JERRY ANGELL! Is it time to give the devil his due, or will our stalwart hosts be overcome by some face-melting nuclear fallout? Have a little listen and find out!

EPISODE 48: TALES OF THE DEAD (2010)

Sun, 15 Jun 2014 21:49:04 +0000

It's time for some mildly disappointing ANARCHY in the UK! On episode 48 of the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES podcast we take a look at Kemal Yildirim's 2010 anthology film TALES OF THE DEAD where almost nothing happens and the endings are all TERRIBLE! We guide you through the dismorphic tribulations of LESS IS MORE, the irritating coming-of-age tale WOLF CRY, the completely incomprehensible PENANCE and - finally - the troublingly ok CROMWELL'S CURSE! And it's all wrapped up in a framing story featuring a group of the most easily scared people in existence. It stinks! Thankfully, Roo is back to take the edge off with another incredible song!

EPISODE 47: TRUTH OR DARE? A CRITICAL MADNESS (1986)

Sat, 24 May 2014 18:36:40 +0000

Is it possible? COULD IT BE?! Is it FINALLY time for Doug and Moe to tackle Tim Ritter's immortal 1986 gonzo-bonzo splatter classic TRUTH OR DARE? A CRITICAL MADNESS? Yes. It is that time. They slap on their copper masks, grab their trusty nunchucks, oil up their chainsaw and gleefully tear into one of the straight-to-video originators. It's almost too much fun for one podcast, but THAT'S NOT ALL! Stay to the end to hear a specially penned TRUTH OR DARE song from Roo! HOLY UNDERWEAR!

EPISODE 46: RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: THE ADAPTATION (1989)

Wed, 23 Apr 2014 19:32:19 +0000

When you were a kid did you ever go into your backyard with a video camera and try to recreate scenes from your favorite movies? Well, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: THE ADAPTATION is sort of like that.. Except it's THE ENTIRE MOVIE and it took SEVEN YEARS to do! Yes, a group of Mississippi teens spent seven summers making a shot-for-shot recreation of RAIDERS, and actually FINISHED the darn thing. It's an example of glorious SOV inspiration, but is it any good outside of the novelty factor? Does it even matter? MOE and DOUG dive into the murky, legally grey waters and get some TOP MEN to check out the archaeological wonders within. IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!

EPISODE 45: I AM HERE…. NOW (2009)

Thu, 03 Apr 2014 00:45:18 +0000

What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? OR.. what if he was real estate salesman/architect Neil Breen, who has spent the last ten years bringing his Hollywood dreams to life with a series of wonderfully bizarre films. In I AM HERE.... NOW, Breen plays ALIEN JESUS, who hops off his cross to teach us humans a little something about compassion and renewable energy sources. Are you a government fat-cat lining his pockets with sweet kickbacks? Well, Breen has some very harsh, unconvincing words for you! You also get fake babies, enthusiastic escorts, CANCER CHEMO, and plenty of gratuitous screaming. With another amazing song from the too-talented Lucas "Roo" Raymond!

EPISODE 44: THE ABOMINATION (1986)

Wed, 26 Feb 2014 15:37:56 +0000

Hold onto your beers, ladies and gentleman, because you're about to experience the goopiest, silliest, most drunk-drivingest piece of nonsense to crawl out of mid-80s Texas. It's Bret McCormick's THE ABOMINATION, which is blessed with a title that quite accurately (and succinctly) describes the movie it belongs to. It also begins with a five minute highlight reel that makes actually viewing the following 85 minutes entirely unnecessary! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! There's also farting! Moe and Doug choke this one down with hesitation, but soon find themselves occasionally enjoying the threadbare pleasures on display. Dig into the latest episode of the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES podcast.

EPISODE 43: VICTOR JULIET’S DIRECTOR’S CUT (2009)

Sun, 02 Feb 2014 02:30:40 +0000

You're a winner! HA HA HA! Michael Fitzgerald STUFFED the ballot box for our recent NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARE poll and now he has to BEND OVER and receive his reward: a review of his 2009 no-budget horror (?) satire VICTOR JULIET'S DIRECTOR'S CUT! Enjoy Lili Taylor-esque actresses in HARDY BOYZ wrestling gear? How about superfluous documentary sequences? Goofy sword fights? It's all here! You'll even get to hear Moe get flustered by having the promise of boobs cruelly stolen away. All this and a BRAND NEW song by the AMAZING Roo!

EPISODE 42: REDNECK ZOMBIES (1989)

Thu, 16 Jan 2014 01:16:24 +0000

There's a bodacious herd of Redneck Zombies back there and they're coming this way! It's EPISODE 42 of No-Budget Nightmares, and Moe and Doug are continuing the trend of SOV classics with Pericles Lewnes Troma-distributed zombie-comedy classic REDNECK ZOMBIES. If you like zombies, moonshine, VIOLENCE, ironic t-shirts, spray deodorant and PLENTY of horrible stereotypes you are in for a WHOLE LOT of luck. It's a gut-munching good time! JOIN US.

EPISODE 41: BOARDINGHOUSE (1982)

Mon, 23 Dec 2013 19:46:36 +0000

Our house! In the middle of our street! Our BOARDINGHOUSE! It's the ORIGINATOR of SOV horror, and Moe Porne and Doug Tilley find themselves perplexed while trying to unwrap the mysteries of John Wintergate's ode to hedonism/psychokinesis. If you like tiger-print banana hammocks, impenetrable timelines, dead cats, and topless nudity, you're going to want to lap up all of this delicious podcast MILK. Yum yum!

EPISODE 40: VIDEO VIOLENCE (1987)

Mon, 09 Dec 2013 23:10:21 +0000

It's a NEW BEGINNING on the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES podcast! Sure, it's Moe and Doug breaking down your favorite microbudget wonders, but we have a *new* theme song! A *new* website! A *new* RSS feed! And to kick off our new beginning we're dipping into Gary P. Cohen's SOV VHS-era classic VIDEO VIOLENCE - a film that's been requested since we first started breaking down episodes. This one is HIGH ENERGY and there's sound drops galore, so strap yourself in, pay your late-fees and rewind your tapes. It's time for a little VIDEO VIOLENCE.

EPISODE 39: KINDERGARTEN NINJA (1994)

Mon, 25 Nov 2013 16:55:02 +0000

Sweet sassy molasssy! The NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES PODCAST is *BACK*! And it's packing HEAT! And for their triumphant return, Moe Porne and Doug "Sweetback" Tilley are covering an all time nutball classic from 1994: KINDERGARTEN NINJA. Featuring NFL legend Dwight Clark as a drunken, womanizing douchebag who turns his life around thanks to MARTIAL ARTS, kids(!) and the ghost of Bruce Lee. Seriously! Clark gets a chance to fight, sing, eat french-fries, cozy up to bimbos, hilariously promote his restaurant and ACT! Sort of! And the episode ends with another INCREDIBLE song by Roo, and the promise of many, many more episodes to come. STOP READING AND START LISTENING!

EPISODE 38: ORDER OF ONE (2006)

Fri, 20 Sep 2013 20:52:04 +0000

Wait! WHAT?! No-Budget Nightmares is BACK?!! Why didn't anyone tell me?! Actually, the return of the NBN Podcast is imminent, but while you're waiting why not check out this LONG LOST bonus episode! Recorded way back in June, Moe and Doug tackle the wonderfully bizarre Canadian martial arts flick ORDER OF ONE: KUNG-FU KILLING SPREE, which is chocablock full of heart-ripping, head-smashings, NUNCHUCKS and heaps of wonderful Grade-A Canuck cheese.

EPISODE 37: CANNIBAL CAMPOUT (1988)

Mon, 20 May 2013 15:21:18 +0000

We're CRAZY FROM THE HEAT! It's the 1988 Jon McBride/Tom Fisher SHOT-ON-VIDEO classic CANNIBAL CAMPOUT, and Moe and Doug get FIRED UP by the meaty bloodletting. This episode has it all: profane sound clips, celebrity impressions, and another brand-new song from Roo, based on the film! Head to the smokehouse, slice up some "teenagers" and dig in.

EPISODE 36: NEKROMANTIK (1987)

Fri, 03 May 2013 18:31:05 +0000

It's the classic love story. Boy meets girl. Boy shares corpse with girl. Boy loses girl to corpse. Boy... does some stuff that is difficult to describe. It's episode 36 of the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES podcast and we're talking about some CORPSE F**CKING ART! It's 1988's sleaze-art-German classic NEKROMANTIK directed by twisted auteur Jörg Buttgereit, and while some poor souls would only dare dip the tip in, hosts Moe Porne and Doug "SWEETBACK" Tilley have gone whole hog into this ode to dead love. Join us in the murky pool of blood, urine, goo and other bodily fluids, and stick around till the end for a very special treat!

EPISODE 35: MALEVOLENT ASCENT (2010)

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 21:39:51 +0000

No-Budget Nightmares is back! Back in black! Due to a certain host’s incompetence, we’ve had to call an audible this week and feature another film by SUBURBAN SASQUATCH auteur Dave Wascavage. But this glaring error turns out to be a BEAUTIFUL GIFT as we’re treated to a glorious cavalcade of incompetence, green screen-a-plenty and more stilted, awkward acting than you can shake a Sasquatch at. It’s ELEVATOR-A-GO-GO in 2010′s MALEVOLENT ASCENT and you can actually hear the point in the episode where Moe’s brain snaps in two. It’s all a bit sloppy, but that’s to be expected. BLESS THIS MESS.

EPISODE 34: DEATHERMAN (2013)

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 18:23:18 +0000

Microbudget films can be EDUCATIONAL! For instance, in Bobby Keller's DEATHERMAN we learn that a combination of radiation and acid rain can cause a recently buried weatherman to return to life and CRAVE BLOOD. SCIENCE! So grab your BAROMETER as there's a WARM PRESSURE SYSTEM of murder coming your way. Thankfully, you have meteorological mad-men Moe Porne and Doug "Sweetback" Tilley to guide you through the highs and lows of this no-budget throwback on the latest episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES!

EPISODE 33: DEADBEAT AT DAWN (1988)

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 21:31:36 +0000

Grab your throwing stars and nun-chucks and head to the cemetery for a knock-down, drag-out brawl with episode 33 of the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES PODCAST featuring Jim Van Bebber’s cult classic DEADBEAT AT DAWN. Your intrepid hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley take to the mean streets of Dayton, Ohio and find a near apocalyptic hell-hole of nastiness, where gangs rule the streets and the only way to survive is to RUN LIKE HELL. It’s messy, violent and OH SO AWESOME, so dive in while we make one last big score.

EPISODE 32: GOBLIN (1993)

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:28:18 +0000

Todd Sheets. TODD SHEETS. If you had told us all the way back in Episode #5 that less than 30 episodes later MOE PORNE and DOUG “SWEETBACK” TILLEY would be talking to the man himself, they would have called you a liar. A scoundrel. A miscreant. Yet, here we are not only featuring a film he’s actively disowned (1993′s GOBLIN), but also featuring an interview with the MASTER OF SPLATTER TODD SHEETS! Yeah, this is a big one, so call your parents (adopted or otherwise) and get them to listen as Todd dishes the dirt, peels back the layers and gives a VERY SPECIAL announcement about his upcoming film house of forbidden secrets. All here and more on.. NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES.

EPISODE 31: SLEDGEHAMMER (1983)

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 20:51:00 +0000

You could have a steam train, if you’d just lay down your track. Or you could have a SLEDGEHAMMER to the freakin’ SKULL! No, it’s not Peter Gabriel, it’s David DEADLY PREY Prior’s early 80s shot-on-video horror classic SLEDGEHAMMER! Packed to the gills with thoroughly reprehensible (and stupid!) characters, Prior has his cast maneuver the halls of his apartment while avoiding a shape changing, invincible, sledgehammer-wielding, mask-wearing MANIAC! LISTEN to your hosts MOE PORNE and DOUG “SWEETBACK” TILLEY guffaw at the glorious gobs of gore, and ENJOY their mirth towards the macho meatheads who treat their girlfriends alternately horribly and offensively. I’m your sledgehammer! Let there be no doubt about it

EPISODE 30: THE 30TH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 20:48:25 +0000

OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER! No-Budget Nightmares returns with its 30th episode anniversary spectacular, and you’ve never heard ANYTHING like it. We have listener mail, recorded messages from some of our favorite film-makers, interviews with Oliver Assiran & Les Norris (directors of GORNO: AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY), David Sitbon (who appeared in SUBURBAN SASQUATCH and ANTFARM DICKHOLE), Jim Bultas (director of ROCK N’ ROLL SPACE PATROL ACTION IS GO) and Deric Bernier (who appeared in NIGHTMARE ASYLUM and ZOMBIE RAMPAGE) and hosts Moe Porne and Doug Tilley go over their favorite and least favorite moments and films. Stay tuned for some SPECIAL SONGS, and surprises! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!

EPISODE 29: SCIENCE CRAZED (1989)

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:35:31 +0000

You’ve never seen anything like SCIENCE CRAZED. That’s both a threat AND a promise. A Canuxploitation classic of the highest (lowest?) order, NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley can make neither head nor tail of the bizarre pacing, strange dubbing and downright BIZARRE qualities that make up Ron Switzer’s Canadian wonder. It deserves your love, respect and FEAR. Join the cult of SCIENCE CRAZED.

EPISODE 28: HOLY MOLY (1991)

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 20:23:20 +0000

You like vomit, right? No? Well, thrash metal legend Lance Ozanix LOVES vomit. And in 1991 he decided to turn his unique ability to vomit on command into a 40 minute, blasphemous spectacular! HOLY MOLY features finger snippings, demon horns, neon ray-bans and is as ugly as it is entertaining (which is a LOT). Your podcast pals Moe Porne and Doug Tilley dive deep into the netherworld, and come up with delicious bite-sized morsels of fun and frivalty. Take a ride on the NBN freight train, if you WILL.

EPISODE 27: REANIMATOR ACADEMY (1992)

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 20:19:39 +0000

Move over Herbert West, EDGAR ALLAN LOVECRAFT (seriously) is here! Full of more panty-headed partiers than you can shake a syringe of “reanimating serum” at, REANIMATOR ACADEMY is an aquarium of laughs that features a smattering of gangsters, a gaggle of decapitations, and prostitutes by the bucketful! If you listen carefully you can hear hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley slowly lose their minds (and heads!), before eventually finding serenity in the sweet embrace of death. PLUS Another chapter in the mysterious REDNECK COUNTY FEVER saga! ALL THIS AND MORE!

EPISODE 26: THE BURNING MOON (1997)

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 20:15:56 +0000

GREETINGS, TRUE BELIEVERS! This week we have a film from GERMANY, or – I should say – GOREMANY, because this episode is jam packed with organ meat, decapitations and TEETH DRILLING. Splatmaster Olaf Ittenbach cut his teeth (HA!) as a dental technician before churning out some of the nastiest low-budget violence that Deutschland has to offer, and he started his career making nihilistic shot-on-video nonsense like 1997′s THE BURNING MOON. Listen to Moe Porne and Doug Till-E-y fumble their way through the their first international feature – and there’s listener feedback, too! EXCELSIOR!

EPISODE 25: DEAD IS DEAD (1992)

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 20:02:24 +0000

Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen, because it’s time for Mike Stanley’s immortal (GET IT) DEAD IS DEAD, starring the bearded, bowl-mulleted auteur as the hunky lead. THRILL! as Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley try to unravel the ancient mysteries of who these people are, and what the heck they are doing. And what’s up with those mutants?! If the leaden, awful dialogue doesn’t get you, the incomprehensible editing certainly will, and it’s all on (audio) display on the latest NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES PODCAST.

EPISODE 24: BLOOD CULT (1985)

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 19:48:20 +0000

Pull out your cleaver and slap on some greasepaint, because it’s time to dive headfirst into 1985′s BLOOD CULT, which is notable as (not quite) the first straight-to-video feature film – and not notable for anything else! Featuring a septuagenarian hero, DOG MURDER, exciting driving music, DUMMY MURDER, and the geekiest love interest since REVENGE OF THE NERDS, BLOOD CULT is a nasty bit of video violence; and is greedily lapped up by your hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley. We make learning fun!

EPISODE 23: ROCK N ROLL SPACE PATROL ACTION IS GO! (1995)

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 19:43:53 +0000

Grab your laser gun and surprisingly large communicator pack, this week NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARE is featuring the 2005 Troma-distributed sci-fi comedy ROCK N ROLL SPACE PATROL ACTION IS GO! Featuring one of the most BIZARRE endings in low-budget cinema history, and plenty of goofball antics, your intrepid (and SEXY) hosts do battle with the villainous DR. SPIDER JONES while tackling the mysteries of temporal ninjas, RED ARROWS and much, much more. It’s as much fun as can possibly be squeezed into 90 minutes. JOIN – US.

EPISODE 22: ANTFARM DICKHOLE (2011)

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 19:38:48 +0000

Antfarms! Dickholes! They go together like peanut butter and chocolate, and are FINALLY brought together in Bill Zebub’s WTF bizarro no-budget opus ANTFARM DICKHOLE. Featuring: Wedgies! Ants! Dickholes! Bikinis! Rampant nudity! Wang bananas! And ANT-EATER ACTION. Moe Porne and Doug Tilley WATCHED the damn thing, and now you’re going to listen to them stumble and sigh their way through talking about it. LISTEN TWICE! IT COSTS THE SAME!

EPISODE 21: ZOMBIE RAMPAGE

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 19:33:48 +0000

Zombies. Zombies? ZOMBIES! Yes, the immortal TODD SHEETS is back on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES, and this time our intrepid hosts are dumpster diving into his 1989 debut ZOMBIE RAMPAGE. It’s his goopiest, craziest and – oddly – most impressive feature, even if much of it MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL. You’ll never wash the stink off yourself, so you might as well get down with the hosts with the most(s). ENJOY.

EPISODE 20: VAMPIRE HUNTER (1997)

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 19:20:58 +0000

Grab your cross, garlic, machetes, throwing stars, and AIR BRUSHED TITTIES as this week on the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES podcast we’re covering Sean Gallimore’s ridiculous action/horror film VAMPIRE HUNTER. Packed to the gills with martial arts action and incomprehensible dialogue, Moe and I get DOWN AND DIRTY with the Hunter, and its bizarre, ultra-90s theme song. The power of Christ COMPELS YOU to listen!

EPISODE 19: SUBURBAN SASQUATCH (2004)

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 22:09:16 +0000

I’ve seen fire, and I’ve seen rain, and I’ve seen a Sasquatch with drawn-on abs and big ol’ boobs! That’s right, this week on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES is the modern low-budget classic SUBURBAN SASQUATCH from director Dave Wascavage! COWER in terror as Bigfoot severs limbs, drinks blood and growls confusingly. We love it, and you’ll love it too!

EPISODE 18: THE HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER MEETS THE SKID-ROW SLASHER (1979)

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 21:59:13 +0000

HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE! This week NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES brings you a tender aw-shucks meeting between a demented HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER and the murderous SKID-ROW SLASHER as directed (sorta) by the legendary Ray Dennis Steckler. Who likes bums? We got ‘em! Both literally and figuratively! It’s tons ‘o fun and chock full ‘o nuts, so grab your switchblade and start rambling on and on and on.. because we’re about to get sleazy.

EPISODE 17: ROBOT NINJA (1989)

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 21:41:07 +0000

He’s a NINJA! But.. also a ROBOT. Actually, ROBOT NINJA doesn’t really feature a robot or a ninja, but it *does* contain a sociopath comic book writer inadvertently causing the death of many innocent people. It also has face stabbings, head stabbing, stomach stabbings and BODY MODS. But that’s not all! How about a little BURT WARD? How does that sound? J.R. Bookwalter followed his classic THE DEAD NEXT DOOR with this nuttiness, and MOE PORNE and DOUG “SWEETBACK” TILLEY are here to reap the rewards. OW. MY NUTS.

EPISODE 16: DEATH METAL ZOMBIES (1995)

Sun, 06 May 2012 21:13:34 +0000

Yes, after a brief, dramatic interlude your hosts Doug “Sweetback” Tilley and Moe Porne have returned to explore the depths and heights of ultra-low-low-low budget cinema. This week we cleanse our palate with Todd Jason Cook’s 1995 zombie opus DEATH METAL ZOMBIES, featuring choreographed head-banging, gut-munching, UNFORTUNATE UNDERWEAR and lots and lots of DEATH METAL. Shengar commands you to listen!!

EPISODE 15: GORNO – AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY (2004)

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 20:59:54 +0000

HIP HOP LOCOS. BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES. THE SUMMER OF THE MASSACRE. We’ve talked about plenty of terrible, no-good, very bad films here on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES, but GORNO: AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY might very well trump them all. A sickeningly pretentious attempt at aping the “teenage debauchery” sub-genre dominated by Larry Clark and Harmony Korine, it uses film as a blunt object in which to hammer its audience into submission. And it sucks. Terribly. This is a very special ANGRY episode, where Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley let loose with both barrels on a very deserving target. One way or another, you’re going to get covered in spittle. Enjoy.

EPISODE 14: SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH (1991)

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 20:42:53 +0000

Ah, Todd Sheets. So we meet again. NIGHTMARE ASYLUM pushed us to our limits, but that was a cake-walk compared to the BLOOD-CURDLING TERROR present in SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH. Who likes incomprehensible dialogue? How about acting that would be booed off the stage at a kindergarten play? We’ve got crotchety old men and a bevy of ladies in mom jean-shorts and bulky, early 90s sweaters! We’ve got eyeball tricks, wooden stake-fu and a plot that only runs 69 minutes and *still* feels overlong. There’s much madness here, so join Sweetback and Moe as they celebrate Todd Sheets’ birthday in fine style – you’ll be glad you did.

EPISODE 13: HUMAN BEHAVIOR (2006)

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 20:35:45 +0000

“There’s definitely no logic/To human behavior” – Bjork, “Human Behavior” Take a dash of murder mystery, a pinch of psychological thriller, and a twist of, um, a twist and you have 2001′s HUMAN BEHAVIOR starring a cast of people you never heard of trapped in an infinite loop of plot explanation. The lovely and talented Moe and I dissect the slow-moving 72 minute ode-to-crazy, and manage to fit a few compliments in between bursts of sardonic wit and fart jokes. It ends with my most homoerotic ode to Michael Fassbender yet, so stick around to the (bitter) end. All this and more on..

EPISODE 12: KILL THEM AND EAT THEM (2003)

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 20:30:19 +0000

On this week’s No-Budget Nightmares podcast we look at the 2003 Canadian gonzo mutant film KILL THEM AND EAT THEM. Despite my sympathetic nature, and respect for the ambition of the filmmakers, eventually the whole thing just devolves into a big pile of unpleasant goo. And not the good kind. Will out sanity hold out? Or, will I be babbling about WAR HORSE by the end? (Spoiler: it’s the latter). Join Moe Porne and myself as we dive in headfirst, and emerge forever changed.

EPISODE 11: REDNECK COUNTY FEVER (199?)

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 20:31:17 +0000

Why does this exist? It’s a question I asked myself over and over while I was watching REDNECK COUNTY FEVER; an oddity from (possibly) the early 90s that constantly makes you wonder how it came into being. What could have possessed a group of (presumably) right thinking individuals to give up their time and money to produce something that appears to have no discernible purpose? It’s ostensibly a light comedy featuring two Bill & Ted-like misfits (except played by people obviously in their 30s), but the motivation behind its creation is difficult to work out. Aside from a title screen, there are no opening or closing credits, and the film – which runs a scant 60 minutes – doesn’t even have an IMDB page. Even the information that is out there is inconsistent. The only two possible release years I could find are 1997 or 2001, both of which seem WAY too late to be accurate. But it’s shot on cruddy home video, so it’s possible that it WAS made in the late 90s – though the Spicolli impression, Zubaz pants and Chip & Pepper T-shirts of the lead would suggest it being lensed around 1992. Maybe.

EPISODE 10: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS – FALL OF THE ORIGINAL SIX (2007)

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:23:01 +0000

And now for something completely different. This week’s No-Budget Nightmare was filmed between May and October 2006 in Peterborough, Ontario, Canada. It was written by Sean Bruce, Dan Kildey, and SWEETBACK. It had torture, explosions, gore, a ventriloquist dummy, pornography, jello, and Canadian Content. And – in the end – it was a bad movie. Yes, I was involved in the creation of a bad, no-budget movie. A No-Budget Nightmare, if you will. While I didn’t direct the film, I was part of the creative process from beginning to end. I wrote, edited, did special effects, operated the camera, shot second unit, did sound, acted (in three roles), and operated the boom, among dozens of other jobs. Between writing, editing, and – eventually – distributing, the process took up about a year of my life. During the entire process I kept a blog of my experiences. I figured this was something I might want to return to. The No-Budget Nightmares podcast gave me a very good reason.

EPISODE 9: TERROR TOONS (2002)

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:17:13 +0000

On this week’s Daily Grindhouse Presents – No-Budget Nightmares, Daily Grindhouse contributors Moe and Sweetback discuss Joe Castro’s 2002 ultraviolent comedy TERROR TOONS. There’s Rage Against The Machine lyrics, misogyny, and a mean streak a mile wide. If you like your cartoons unpleasant and – somehow – live action, this is the podcast for you. And, yes, Satan himself shows up.

EPISODE 8: SO MORT IT BE (2004)

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 01:16:25 +0000

On this week’s Daily Grindhouse Presents – No-Budget Nightmares, Daily Grindhouse contributors Moe and Sweetback discuss Fabian Rush’s 2004 horror-comedy SO MORT IT BE. If you have a hankering for mutant rat worms, bodily dismemberment, TERRIBLE bluescreen, and a fistful of silliness, you’ll certainly enjoy yourself. Keep listening for the recordings final twenty minutes where the hosts slowly start to lose their minds – recorded for your listening pleasure.

EPISODE 7: DUCK! THE CARBINE HIGH MASSACRE (1999)

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:06:46 +0000

On April 20, 1999 students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 of their fellow students (as well as a teacher) at Columbine High School in Colorado before committing suicide. The incident traumatized an entire nation, and in the wake there was a flurry of media attention, often looking to point the finger at a cause – or series of causes – for what ended up being referred to (in typical media fashion) as the “Columbine Incident”. There was plenty of blame to go around, but it was the popular culture that the two teens loved – dark, industrial music, violent video games, horror movies – that got the most attention from the various news sources and politicians. It made such an impact that several films were devoted entirely to the incident including: Gus Van Sant’s ELEPHANT and Michael Moore’s documentary BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE. ELEPHANT was filmed in 2002 and while it was critically lauded, it was also criticized for being released so soon after the incident. But it wasn’t the first dramatization of the event. In fact, only months after the Columbine High Massacre filmmakers William Hellfire and Joey Smack – both already deeply involved with low-budget horror and exploitation filmmaking – decided to make a gonzo dramatization of the incident. DUCK! THE CARBINE HIGH MASSACRE was originally released on October 26th, 1999, just six months after Columbine occurred, and you can imagine that the response was less than favorable.

EPISODE 6: BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES (1999)

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:02:03 +0000

And now for something completely shitty. Part softcore vampire flick with sub-porno production and part jerk-off “tribute” to Ed Wood, BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES is an insult to anyone expecting even a minimum amount of entertainment value out of low-budget filmmaking. The promise of nubile young goths is thwarted by a cavalcade of dried up strippers who appear to be pushing 40, stumbling through about twenty minutes of plot peppered by endless, unsexy love scenes between people who often look either bored and/or high. Add in plenty of leering and cornball humor and you’ll likely need a bath to clean off the sludge long before the closing credits roll.

EPISODE 5: NIGHTMARE ASYLUM (1992)

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:00:21 +0000

If you have any interest in no-budget film-making, you really must be aware of Todd Sheets – one of the godfathers of the entire shot-on-video genre. In just 15 short years (between 1985 and 2000) Sheets directed over 30 films, almost entirely horror films with excessive gore, grade-school play acting and a generally weak grasp of editing, shot composition and Mise en scène. Yeah, his films range from despicable to watchable, but they are also absolutely unique and fascinating specimens. The missing link in the evolution of the films you find littering the bottom shelves of your local video store (or, the outer reaches of Netflix). One of his earlier, less polished works, NIGHTMARE ASYLUM is a nearly entirely unpleasant viewing experience, strongly resembles a particularly violent high school play being performed in a haunted house, but with little of the entertainment value that might suggest.

EPISODE 4: LAS VEGAS BLOODBATH (1989)

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 19:48:30 +0000

Feedback is appreciated. I apologize for my opinions on daytime whores, hot oil wrestlers, the quality of Nevada pizza, using the word “‘za”, and for swearing so much. Sorry, mom.

EPISODE 3: THE SUMMER OF THE MASSACRE (2006)

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:41:15 +0000

Well, this is just terrible. A bafflingly misguided “tribute” to the grimy horror films of the 70s – most notably THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – this British shot-on-video horror film starts out awful before eventually grinding down to reprehensibly boring, lost in a sea of improvised conversations and endless, style-less chase scenes. Not only does director Bryn Hammond have the writing skill of a four year old – ably demonstrated by the multitude of confusing, near-unreadable title cards at the beginning and end – but his direction totally sabotages some very attractive locations, and the editing is about as amateurish as your grandmother’s home movies. This is about as close to a cinematic root-canal as you’re likely to find.

EPISODE 2: SCARLET FRY’S JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST (2007)

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:30:30 +0000

HELLO! I'm writing this WELL into the future. Enjoy this CLASSIC(?) episode of No-Budget Nightmares featuring a movie that Moe and Doug both despised - and continue to! Memorable quote: "You know every relationship has it's problems. Take my wife for example, she used to drive me up the motherf*chin wall until I knocked her into the well…I tried to save her….OH WELL"

EPISODE 1: HIP-HOP LOCOS (2001)

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 18:42:00 +0000

On the evening of Feb. 20, 2001, two latino rappers committed a murderous crime spree and filmed everything they did on a digital video camera. They had a plan to rob drug dealers for their cocaine, sell it and use the money to record a hip hop album rapping about their crimes. This footage was taken directly from their hidden camera, along with other footage obtained from various surveillance cameras. This is what actually occurred on that shocking evening.